Well, I walked into the Chad Rock Cafe, and what before my wondering eyes should appear, but an overstuffed Al Gore, with 2 bottles of beer. He looked much like an overgrown Dom DeLuise, no offense to my pal, Dom!
Al was getting down to those old “Boogie Nights” tunes, and Tipper was flipping burgers, and Al, well, he was just flipping. Walking around telling everyone that he invented the omelette. And he said it with a straight face too.
I bellied up to the bar, and out of nowhere came this little guy with a dimpled chin screaming “Last call”. I recognized him from the “Sore-Loserman” Poster in my office. It was old Joe himself. So I called old Joe over and asked him if the Deli item “Sloppy Joes” was named after their campaign, and he mumbled something in Yiddish and walked away. I took that as an “I don’t recall”.
I decided to sit a spell and take in the homey atmosphere of Chad’s Dew-Drop-In and sat at the bar for a spell just to people-watch. It was a sight to behold. Patron after patron, after receiving their computerized bill, to a person, stood firm and asked for a recount. Said their bill items were not punched correctly, and many chads were left hanging where the “fries” were and instead received onion rings. It was turning into a fiasco very quickly.
Quickly, old Joe hustled up to the register and demanded his lawyers check out the bills there. A recount was out of the question since the computerized billing was so old and not reliable. Kinda like those butterfly ballots, he said. I heard one customer exclaim that he would take it to the Supreme Court. Then, for emphasis, he rubbed in the fact the Al-Joe track record with the Supremes. Al was doing a double goose step by now and wanted to know where Warren Christopher was.
The experience at Al’s Diner was a time to remember. There was as much confusion there as there was at a Democratic voting booth in Florida. Many patrons felt they were disenfranchised, because the sign in the window said that closing time was 11:00 PM, and here it was only 9:45 and the shades were being pulled.
Joe tried to explain that the time was not the local time, but another time zone. This was done, he says, so that all people of every region would have an opportunity to dine with them. In a word…what a crock!
I’m not even sure if I want to pursue this anymore, there are people in high places that could cause me harm. (snicker) Anyway, I think one visit to the old home place here is enough to set the record straight. I think what’s cooking at the Gore Restaurant is another load of BS, but is disguised as that ole country possum. I can’t swear to it, but why else would Ole Joe leave the upstate to come to the country? Something smells here, and it ain’t the local fish….well, uh, maybe it is a load of crappie! Know what I mean?
So much for Al-asses Restaurant!
Get me outta here Percy!
