Just when we think that our neighbors across the waters, the humorless people of the U.K. cannot become any more absurd, well…they do it again! After reading from one of their, ahem, journalists, regarding some words and phrases that “ya’ll” will have to learn since George W. Bush will be our President, this same bunch of buffoons give us now a Politically Correct nativity scene. How bonny! One that exempts Joseph, so that single parents may have a personal version of the nativity.
If it weren’t piteous, it would be amusing. Imagine, a politically correct nativity brought to us by the folks who call the hood of a car, a bonnet, the trunk is the boot, and a cup of tea is a spot! Sorry, all you disenfranchised foreigners…but a bonnet is what the southern belles wear on their heads at Easter, a boot is what is worn by cowboys to kick the butts of the foolish, and spot is the name of a dog! I would like to know how the originator of this gimmick arrived at this farcical invention? If not for greed, you folks would be almost educated!
Let’s look at some of your vocabulary and compare it to ours. If your humor is as dry as it appears, you will not enjoy this, but that’s how it is. For instance, men in your country wear “braces”, our men wear suspenders. Braces are either for your teeth or for your limbs. Your mommies use a “dummy” to soothe the little ones, whereas, our mommies use pacifiers. A dummy reads your twaddle! You buy your medicine from a “chemist”, we get ours from a drug store. I guess you folks are one up on us there since the chemist can have your medicine ala Burger King…have it your way. Over here, we have Mr. Goodwrench, there you have Mr. Goodspanner. Here, we place our garbage in dumpsters, you deposit yours in skips. Our kids enjoy a popsicle, your kids have a lolly…maybe even one too many!
You guys live in flats, we change them here. In the dark, you carry a torch, while we use the handy little flashlight. In the country that stands head and shoulders above all the other politically correct, yet, your people smoke fags, while we prefer Marlboro. On a picnic, you haul your food in a hamper, while we toss our dirty clothes in one. Pants are worn over your trousers in the U.K. while we wear ours over our underwear. You honor the queen over there, while here, we don’t talk about a “queen”. Anyway, I suppose you have grasped what is meant here and please don’t consider this up the spout!
And about that PC nativity scene over there. What a load of codswallop, limey!
